A Fault Confessed

“A fault confessed in half redressed.” (Zululand)

This is an easy one. It is not enough to admit your faults, you must do something about it. Phrases like “This is me, take it or leave it,” “I’m so messy,” or “100% Bitch” are commonplace. Okay, that’s all well and good, and I understand the need for acceptance—warts and all. The problem is usually that is just an excuse to continue with that behavior. It’s not admitting your flaws in any attempt to improve. Instead, it is admitting you are comfortable with your character flaws.

My friend and her son came over to visit some time ago. I was joking with her son, but I had been too harsh and he started to cry. My first thought was of my family teasing me at that age. Once the tears started to flow, they would say, exasperated, “Oh come on, you’re too sensitive. It was just a joke!” I hated that. Then I thought of my high school friends who would say, “you know I didn’t mean that. I was just joking.” But I never felt they really meant it. So I paused. I got down on my knees to his face level. I said, “I’m sorry. I was joking and I went too far. I promise I won’t do it again. I won’t do anything that would hurt you, okay?” (Or some variation of this.) We made up. Day saved, hearts cleared. And I felt good, real good. I meant it and he knew it. So don’t just apologize, redress.

Fix that shit. You’ll feel better, be better, and so will everyone you care about. Lesson learned.